My Passion towards Music

The most beautiful days i remember about navodaya are the days of eleventh standard, i started learning hindustani classical music with Surekha madam. We, i, and my classmates sourabha and
nandini told madam that we are very much interested to learn classical music. Being in a residential school, neither we nor she could get free time before dinner. So she started to teach us music at 9 pm every night. Ah!! i can't forget those days!! Most importantly, even though we insisted, she refused to take money and it is her greatness that she taught us music just for the sake of transferring her knowledge. In addition she showed us so much of love that my love towards music multiplied. She made each one of us sing separately the lines that she taught. Most of the times that night itself we would learn the things she had taught and only thing left was to practice it towards perfection. But sometimes it was not easy. Then she says, "Don't sing now.. only think of the tune, u'll get it the next day".. She was right.. The next night (in fact) we could sing it very easily...
One of the raagas i loved was the "Malkouns" called "Hindola" in carnatic music... When i think of "Sa Ga Ma Dha Ni Sa", "Sa Ni Dha Ma Ga Sa" i am in heaven.. The bliss it gives u just have to feel... And the other is "Jeevan Puri" .. And i particularly liked the lakshana geetha of this raaga.."More Sayyan Jeevan Puri Ko Sunaye.."

The days went on as it never knew that we were going to take music exam that year..
Our syllabus was incomplete and our dear madam got transfer! We were shocked.. But not losing heart, we recorded all the remaining portions and were in tears to send off our beloved madam... After she left, her house was empty and we went every night there to practice... It was rainy season and water touched our knees even inside her house (one of the dormitories was given to her for residence ).. And no power in the room... In those rainy dark nights we lived our most cherishing days.. At least for me, they are most cherishing... And we gave the exam, got good result even.. And thats all...
Then i joined Carnatic music class in Ujire with Nidle rajarajeshwari, but it was not so cherishing.. There were so many students and i was not able to dedicate myself fully to music as i had other commitments related to my academics... I could attend some workshops and learn good Carnatic music keerthanas as well but it remined incomplete... i had a dream to become a research scholar, and music learning became a dream thereafter... Now i think i will join music school again, in coming days.. But my work makes me postpone it all the time... I am sure i will continue learning music, but when?? I do not know... Music is in my nerves, in my breathe, i feel it, i enjoy it... I need time and a guru like my surekha madam who taught us music only to transfer the knowledge and in addition, she gave us un-conditional love which is really invaluable...

Swamiji

Today, Jan 12th is Swami Vivekananda's birth day.
The greatest of great men i admired ever.
He has influenced me to a great extent.
One quote which i found very inspiring and motivating is,
"Take up one idea.Make that one idea your own.
Think of it; dream of it; live on it.
Let your mind, muscles, nerves every part of your body
be full of that one idea. Just leave every other idea alone.
This is the way to success!"
-Swami Vivekananda.


I always tried to follow it.
In every little thing i do,if i am
successful, i am right on the path;
only one idea in mind.
But its not always the case.
Thoughts pour into mind, from all possible
directions, whether i want them or not.
Unknown fear, feeling discouraged and i would think
to give up almost.I'll suffer with them for sometime.

But again swami's words on the wall
give me strength:


" Be Fearless Fear is death, fear is sin, fear is hell, fear is unrighteousness, fear is wrong life. All the negative thoughts and ideas that are in the world have proceeded from this evil spirit of fear."
-Swami Vivekananda.


I will become alert,
throw everything else from mind,
and focus on that one idea again.

These two cycles come as day and night come
periodically. It thus proves the phenomena
that nothing stays long;
Bad days go, even good days go.
We just have to be aware of our duty today.

I should mention here that, its one year today that i
joined Indian Institute of Astrophysics as a PhD student.
My dream of several years came true on this day of 2007.

Truth

Truth can be bitter...
Truth can be painful...
Truth can be funny...
But truth is always a truth...

You can make one believe a lie as truth...
You can never make one believe a truth as lie...
Because,
Truth is always a truth and
Lie is always a lie!!

May be its true...

May be its true that some thoughts will never come true...
May be its true that sometimes i can't prove...
May be its true that somethings which i believe do not exist at all...
And they just cross the mind without any reason...
May be its true that somethings-which i think today
that would make me happy tomorrow will dissolve tonight in darkness and
next morning (which surely comes) comes with a different light...
Light-bright enough to overwhelm my thoughts...
And makes me realize that,
Light that i had expected is not the end of darkness...
Its just a light which even ends with darkness...

I may shed a few drops today..
I don't want them to flow tomorrow...
This little strength is that i have always...
I certainly have always...

Life is an Illusion..

Thoughts..
We grow... we think..
Think without sleep...
To know the answer to the
Questions that will never have an answer..

Joy...
We can't say what is joy..
For , as someone said,
“Anything that is achieved loses its charm”

Pain...
We cry for having pain,
but thats not a pain..
We can't understand the real pain..
For we will be tear less for the real pain..

Life is a confusion..
An illusion for short periods..
It gives glimpses of everything..
Nothing stays long..
Days will pass..

Still We think...We laugh..
We cry..
And we live..

A Young Tortoise

It was my first spring,
I just put my head
out of the shell;
To seek the truth
against the unlimited
imaginations i had about it,
from the stories i heard
from my mom and friends!

I felt ecstatically great,
by the warm, soothing light
after the last cold and dark night.
I enjoyed the day
and the days that came next,
playing in the sand and sea water,
made new friends!

Spring was just a hope to live,
A warm breeze but short lived,
Then it just went,
leaving only bare thoughts,
Ofcourse reminded me to
put my head back inside the shell!!!

Real Vs Imaginary.

This is just an attempt to reflect my view of real and imaginary world. Will add more whenever i find time. Einstein said,
As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain;
and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality.
I love mathematics and transitivity holds. That means most of the times i dwell in this imaginary world which does not refer to reality. Most of us are in this state of mind at least for sometime.
Of course, i imagine a lot. If anything is not like what i have imagined,
i just can't accept it. Approximations, are mandatory in order to apply a mathematical theory to a
physical situation to understand the situation practically. Because physically nothing can be understood by a pure mathematical theory. I imagine a story behind everything i come across.
It may be the number sequence, swarasthana of swaras, a raaga, a star, an unseen place or people.
This has made me enjoy abstract things in mathematics in my own way and has made me love mathematics, pure mathematics the most. Also it lead me to love raagas such as Maalkouns or Hindola, by feeling them. But it has also made me suffer a lot. Indeed you will learn to live when such processings take place inside your mind. But reality, most of the times has proved the contradictions particularly with people. That means, when imagination is applied to a real situation as it is. It certainly needs some approximations. This is my claim. It may be very early to conclude so. Hope my experience with time, physics and mathematics will give more acceptable proofs and hope i learn more. Do you call it madness? This state of mind, is called madness or absent mindedness if it belongs to a normal person. If it is of great people, it is called "Antharmukhi", or turned to ones own self state. Why?? This state of mind will be there
for all. If you make good use of it, it may lead to your success, increase your analyzing power etc. If you allow yourself to suffer, you will be no-where but mad. It can be most challenging to find both the states in phase and realize the self, which may be the ultimate truth.
That will lead to take a complete control over your mind??